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Actions speak louder than words, so believe what you see and forget what you heard.
Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago.
All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.
Amazon's recommendations are like that friend who heard you say 'ninja' once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Crying doesn't indicate that you're weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you're alive.
Don't make me regret letting you merge into my lane. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
I'm drinking like there's snow tomorrow.
I've set my 'life goals' to stuff I've already done so literally every day now I'm overachieving. It's all about perspective.
If you're told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like eternity.
Impossible only means that you haven't found the solution yet.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Just cause you're sleeping with someone doesn't automatically make them yours! If there's no commitment then it's all fair game!!
Just high fived that wall with my face.
Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
My friends: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the heck back to sleep.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
Please hold, your call is important to us. Not 'hire more operators' important.. But like 'if you need to hang up, that's cool' important.
Saying 'What?' And then realizing what they said a second later.
Single? Taken? I'm just ready for summer 2016.
That awkward moment when you don't know how to reply to a really sweet text.
That awkward moment when you're at your friend's house and he is getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the dog.
The 'Earth' without 'Art' is just 'EH'.
The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.
The past tense of wink is wunked.
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today..
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Creative Status for Whatsapp
'I don't watch tv' proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.Actions speak louder than words, so believe what you see and forget what you heard.
Admit it, you are not the same person you were a year ago.
All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.
Amazon's recommendations are like that friend who heard you say 'ninja' once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
Crying doesn't indicate that you're weak. Since birth, it has been a sign that you're alive.
Don't make me regret letting you merge into my lane. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
Even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I automatically classify anything over $5 as expensive.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
I'm drinking like there's snow tomorrow.
I've set my 'life goals' to stuff I've already done so literally every day now I'm overachieving. It's all about perspective.
If you're told you only have six months to live, immediately get married. It will make those six months seem like eternity.
Impossible only means that you haven't found the solution yet.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Just cause you're sleeping with someone doesn't automatically make them yours! If there's no commitment then it's all fair game!!
Just high fived that wall with my face.
Look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
My friends: wow what a perfect morning for a run. Me: wow what a perfect morning to go the heck back to sleep.
Pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
Please hold, your call is important to us. Not 'hire more operators' important.. But like 'if you need to hang up, that's cool' important.
Saying 'What?' And then realizing what they said a second later.
Single? Taken? I'm just ready for summer 2016.
That awkward moment when you don't know how to reply to a really sweet text.
That awkward moment when you're at your friend's house and he is getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the dog.
The 'Earth' without 'Art' is just 'EH'.
The best part about daylight savings is that the clock in my car is correct again.
The past tense of wink is wunked.
There's no place like 127.0.0.1
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today..