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It's funny how people judge other's mistakes while they also do the same thing.I speak two languages, Body and English.
I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Im a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation
I look at people sometimes and think ..... Really?? That's the sperm that won :)
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something :)
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror :D
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
If you don't care stop talking about it.
If you can't find the key to success, pick the lock.
If you can't convince them, Confuse them.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
If a single teacher can't teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
If a man whistles at you, don't turn around. You are a lady not a dog
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
I don't believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday :)
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
I'm not short, I am just concentrated awesome!
I'm a good boy with bad habits :P
I'll be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.
I'd like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste :)
How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday :)
God was showing off when He created you.
God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China :)
Girls work on their looks but not their minds b'coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
Girl, you better have a license, coz you are driving me crazy!
Friday is my second favorite F word.
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. :)
For all the girls that say ..... All guys are the same ...... Who told you to try them ALL.
Flip a coin... If head comes, I am yours, if tail comes then you are mine. :)
Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with Windows.
Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.
Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it's the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY :)
Don't worry. God is always on time.
Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbours are not.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write "SAVE TREES" on the same paper.
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she's not coming back.
Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. :)
Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat :)
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
Caution, Blind Man Driving.
Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
BRB = I don't want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don't care.
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.